The Battle of Plank Street. Part One.

I was lucky enough (quick enough (skiving off work enough)) to be the first to thrust my hand in the air and squirm in my seat when Erny invited people to join him in a game of online WHFB3, which took place last night. Just follow the link if you want to see the field of battle we fought over.

We botched all the most basic of rules pretty badly in between sipping beer and typing banter (technical issues) but it was just incredible fun. I got into my role as the comic book villain Grishnack the Bloodaxe of Scabby Rump while Thantsants led the brave and doughty Dwarves of Axwoon'd in the defence of the realm of King Cnut. Thats KER. NOOT.

My own Orcs and Goblins were of an exceptionally single-minded variety, never once failing (taking) an animosity test. Don't even get me started on the performance of Chester and Julian the Trolls, they have started a marvellous charity which helps to euthanase ginger Dwarfs with low self esteem. Later on Chester hopes to gain his Masters degree while Julian is thinking of taking a gap year.

So, we played like kids. We got over-excited and forgot all the rules at every turn. It was flipping good fun though!

The set-up at Roll20 is amazing. It has been perfected for hosting RPG sessions for people who can't be in the same room and I would recommend you head over there ASAP to set up an account if that is something you would be interested in. War-gaming there is more complicated for sure, but it is possible and those who run the site will probably work with the community to improve the experience further. This said, I am not blind to how much effort and hard work Erny has had to put into this venture and not only should we congratulate him and be grateful for his pioneering but I suggest to you that gaming this way with him is the way forward for now unless you are pretty confident technically speaking and have bags of spare time to invest.

Who knows though, I can see a path to the day when Oldhammer takes place online as often as it does on tables. No joke. You have to see a table covered with Erny's lovely painted minis, all in cyberspace, before you turn your nose up at that! We only got half way into the game despite investing about four hours into it (noobs) but fantastically we just left it all set up and made a few typed notes for ourselves so we can pick up where we left off!

Truthfully though, a couple of tweaks need to be made before the flood gates open and this has mass appeal, so go into any game with an open mind and an easy-going attitude (just like always I am sure). For now, I am definitely going to need to buy a cutting edge earphone/mic setup. And some more Timothy Taylor's Pale Ale.

The story so far.


Grishnack thumped and walloped several of the remaining Scabby Rump arrer boys as he bullied his way to the front of the unit. The other lot had panicked at the first sign of trouble the cowards, he had almost tossed the Witch's amulet away at that point. The Witch. He was not afraid of anything, obviously, but she had given him the willies. He couldn't even tell quite what she was, Half-Orc maybe? She had pressed the amulet into his hand and cackled something fierce. "Take this o Lord", the witch said in a shrill voice, "hold it tight when the bearded ones come to Lonely Wood. Your soldiers will act as one, with purpose and determination!" Now Grishnack didn't know what 'deeterminayshun' was but if it helped the lads knacker a few stunties he was all for it, and besides, no-one wants to say no to a Witch.

At first, after the initial disappointment of seeing the arrer boys turn tail had worn off, the amulet seemed to be working well. He pressed it into his meaty fist and it began to glow with an eerie inner light. He had ordered the Trolls off to kill the ginger stunties and they just said "yer boss" and strode off like, like, well, not Trolls. The same with the big unit of lads on the right and the gobbos too. The wolf boys had been shredded by crossbow bolts and just sat there waiting for orders like they didn't care. Unnatural that was. Even the ruddy Shaman was pumping out spells like a Goblin possessed. Maybe he is possessed? Grishnack briefly considered the possibility and decided he didn't care. Now though, as the green line crashed against the stubborn Dwarfs with a precision he had never imagined possible, the glowing amulet began to pulse, then flicker. It was running out of shazam, Grishnack concluded.

Time to get stuck in then.

Click for Part Two.

Thanks for stopping by!